Merry Christmas....

It’s early morning Christmas eve, exactly one year ago today that we received the news from Panama that we were finally pregnant. I remember that morning as if it were yesterday, lying in bed at Daniels parents place in Brooks and nervous about checking my phone for an email. It was either going to be the best Christmas ever, or I was scared that we would have bad news and put a damper on the entire holidays, luckily we all know what happened.

One year, I look back at the last year and honestly can’t believe it, the ups and downs, the joy and pain, I don’t know how we found the strength to get through it all, but here I sit, one year later and thankful for how happy and fulfilled I really am.

If anyone ever tells you a child changes everything, you fully don’t know what they mean until you have one. It is the most amazing joy you will ever feel, your life does change, you stop caring about yourself and what your needs are, and everything thing in your being is focused on your child.

I look back on our journey and cant help getting emotional, both Daniel and I would do it a thousand times over again to have Layton here with us. He is perfect, and not just because I am his father, but he is the perfect little guy for us. He smiles, laughs, almost always happy and calm. We get many comments from people on how lucky we are to have him; we usually just look at each other and smile. We know how lucky we are, and mention this to each other one a daily basis.

Christmas will be different this year; the anticipation of having Christmas with a baby in the house has made us even more excited and happy. All our family is coming up to spend it here at our place, the house will be filled with people and laughter, exactly what we had pictured when we started this entire journey.

Layton has shown us what Christmas really means, he is the biggest present we could have asked for or ever received in life.

Merry Christmas to everyone who has helped us, followed us, or even lent support. Too many people to mention but from Daniel, Layton and me I hope everyone has a great Christmas and an even better New Year…. I know we will!

The Dust Settles.......

It’s been just over two months since we have been back in Calgary with Layton, we finally feel like we are comfortable, settled, and are living a normal family life.

Many people have been contacting me as to when I will be writing my next blog update, for me I never really intended on writing anything past our return to Canada, but it seems there is an appetite for an update on what has been going on and how our little guy is doing.

It’s hard to imagine our lives now without Layton; he has made everything in life have more meaning. There isn’t a day Daniel and I forget how lucky and privileged that we have him in our lives. Even writing this brings tears to my eyes. Having a child makes you soft that’s for sure, the sight of two grown men with tears in their eyes are a common occurrence now in our home, not for being upset but for shear happiness around having such a beautiful and perfect little boy.

Daniel and have not forgotten what we went through in having Layton and getting him back home, but day by day the not so perfect memories of what happened with us are growing more distant and these distant memories are being replaced by new and exciting memories of having him in our lives and our hearts. We know there is still going to be things that we will have to face but nothing seems unmanageable now.  We still need to figure out his citizenship and although the consulate has sent in all the paperwork in our behalf, I can’t help but have a little part of me wondering if this will be completed without complication. I am expecting this process can take upwards of a year to complete.

Layton is a happy and healthy baby, all full of smiles and joy. Everyone who meets him tells us how lucky we are to have a good baby, we love hearing this but we don’t take it for granted, we know how lucky we are. Layton is now just over three months old, he is almost 11 pounds and 23 inches long.  He sleeps great, (9 hours through the night) and eats without problems. Hardly cries and when he does it usually is just for a few seconds to let his dad’s know that he needs his bottle!

Being a parent is not what we expected it to be, all the good that you think this will be multiply it by a factor of a million and that will almost sum up how we feel about being dad’s. Nothing in life can even come close to what an amazing feeling it is to have him in our lives. I pinch myself now and then to make sure it is real, and the amount of effort and work over the last two years that we went through, we would do all over again in an instant knowing that we would end up with Layton.

We will forever be connected to Panama, it’s part of Layton’s heritage and the friends that we made down there we won’t ever forget, and we still speak with Alana frequently.

People have been asking us would we do it again, this is a hard question to answer at the moment. We have 6 frozen embryos still at the hospital and we could start the process again at any time, and we know this option is available to us. For the moment we are enjoying what we have with Layton, being thankful every day and ultimately still waiting for the dust to settle…..

Bliss....

It’s Saturday morning, crisp Calgary air, and the sun is rising.  I am sitting on the couch watching Layton sleep while his little arms are moving around, showing the signs of wanting to wake up to have his bottle. As you can see we are finally in Calgary, happy, exhausted, and all in once piece.

This past week has been hectic, busy, and full of travel and emotions.  I will try and recap the turn of events for everyone so they can catch up…

We had our friend Rosanna drive us to the airport, since she was a lawyer and also spoke Spanish. We were a bit worried about the Panamanian immigration and if we had all the correct forms to allow Layton to leave Panama being a citizen of Panama. We all marched up to the immigration and customs person and handed them all our paperwork, Rosanna spoke to the officials and they slowly went through the paper work to see if it was legit. Within about 10 minutes they passed us through and we were on our way to the screening section, this was one of the biggest feelings of relief to know that we were actually allowed to board our aircraft and get to Canada. We were happy and relived and we quickly called/texted our family to let them know that yes, we would indeed be flying into Canada today and we would be home to Calgary tomorrow.

The flights were rough, and with a newborn seemed like they took forever but finally arrived in Toronto. The customs/immigration people in Toronto were friendly and actually asked us one question and passed us through with no effort or concern. We were in Canada, safe! It was around 1am in the morning and we had to make our way to the hotel where we would stay a quick 4 hours before we had to be at the WestJet check in to make our way on the 7am flight to Calgary. The flight to Calgary was great, no issues (except a minor poop incident in the bathroom changing Layton, but this was nothing that we couldn’t handle). A few ooh’s and awws by all the flight crew and we were home.

The walk to the baggage area felt like it was about 20km; we knew our families were waiting. Anxious to see little Layton and get to hold him in person. Skype is great, but still is no replacement for holding this little guy in your arms. Once we walked through the doors tears started to flow, from our family, and from us. We were home, we made it, and the last month was all worth it.

Home has never felt so good, there are still lots of stories to tell and process’ to complete…but for now we are going to enjoy our time at home with friends and family.

Turning Point...

The last 24 hours have finally been a turning point.  Daniel’s birthday was yesterday and we would never had guessed that running around Panama from government building to government building would be what was in the cards for a 30^th birthday, but nothing is what we had expected this past month and we now expect it.

We were at the Panamanian passport agency bright and early at 7:45 am. The consulate had worked out a plan that since Layton was born in Panama and held a Panamanian birth certificate he would be eligible for a Panamanian passport, this armed with a Canadian visa would grant him access back to Canada.  We thought this could be a possibility but had been told by the consulate once before that the minimum time to be granted a visa would be up to 28 days. The consulate pulled some strings and was able to gain this visa within only a few hours.

The passport agency went extremely smooth and efficiently.  Maybe since we were armed with two lawyers, one from the hospital and one of Alana’s friends, we had the passport in hand from start to finish in only 25 minutes.

Once the passport was in hand, we raced to the consulate and started on the forms for the entry visa to Canada. This process took about an hour, and I needed to run to Copa airline’s head office to arrange for travel back to Canada, yes, finally we could say we were coming home…

7 hours of running around paid off today, it felt like we got more done on this one day than we have the last three weeks in Panama. The feeling is surreal knowing that we are booked to come home Tuesday afternoon, and although thrilled and excited, I do still have a pit in my stomach. Not truly able to fully relax until we pass security at the airport and are on board our flight flying into Toronto. I know once we take off tears will fill my eyes, and for the first time in weeks I will be able to close my eyes and let myself drift off to sleep if only for a short few hours.

Both sets of parents were excited beyond belief that we were able to tell them we would be home this week, tears mixed with laughter and excitement as we skyped and called home with the news. Already planning on meeting us at the airport, and finally meeting Layton. This is the moment we have been waiting for, for an every long time now.

We have Alana’s lawyer friend Rosanna picking us up today to take us to the airport, she offered to be there with us just in case we needed anything or any needed translation at security. We have our passport, visa requirements, notarized letter from the surrogate stating she is allowing Layton to leave the Country. This should be what we need to take Layton home.

With any luck my next post on this blog will be from the comfort of our home in Calgary, there are still so many stories to tell about our adventure, and what we have gone through as well as more tasks we have to accomplish once in Canada to make Layton legal. For now, we are just happy and excited for today, and our journey back home….

Let's start over...from scratch

It’s bright and early Saturday morning in Panama; I am just sitting on the couch with Layton and watching him as he fighting to stay awake lying on a big pillow next to my side. It’s the peaceful calm of the morning where everything is quiet, the sun is shining and it’s my time to relax and regain my thoughts, and to go over the events of this past week, or at least try and forget them…

Friday morning came about and we had a nervous anxiousness about calling the DNA lab. It has been over three days and we were promised that the results should be completed ready to send to the Canadian Consulate. Could this be the start of getting out of Panama with Layton? This is what we had so desperately hoped for. When I spoke to the DNA lab on Tuesday they said that it would be at least three days, and they would have known if there was anything wrong with the sample already to everything was looking good…. so we had thought, and so we had been told.

I called the DDC Diagnostic’s lab in Toronto at around 10am their time, I spoke to the same receptionist that I had always spoken to over the last week, when I asked her about the sample and explained I just wanted to make sure that everything was still looking good I was shocked by the dead silence on the other end of the line. She proceeded to explain to me that because the representative from the consulate had not written the names of the persons the samples were from on each separate paper envelop that the chain of command was broken and the samples were void and could not be used. She then proceeded to tell me they found this out the day before and let the consulate know but had not informed us as to what was going on. My heart sank so far down that I think I felt it hit the floor…. what could I say, all that my body could do is form tears that rolled down my face wanting so bad for this nightmare of a process to be over. She explained she was sorry, little help this did, and then told me they had already sent out another test for us to perform and if we were lucky we would get it by next week. Great, another week of waiting and wondering if we were ever going to get home.

It’s hard to explain what Daniel and I are feeling, lost, desperate, held hostage, alone, confused, angry…the list is endless as to all the emotions we are having every single day and each day that we have no answers is when we feel a little more damaged from these turn of events and I don’t know how quickly these wounds will heal anymore.

We spent the entire day yesterday making panicked phone calls to consulate members, the ambassador, the hospital, anyone we could think of that could be of any help to us and pleaded our cases to as many people as possible. We didn’t get very far, but we do have another meeting with the Canadian consulate on Monday to see what we can do and possible next steps.  We find people are sympathetic to our cause, but really don’t want to step in and offer any help, even when I tell them about my sister who happened to pass away two days after we arrived in Panama.

I don’t know if this is all just a run of bad luck, or is our government really this messed up that process’s don’t work, and people just don’t understand how the system is supposed to work for the people they are put in place to support and to help. We have had a whole new outlook on anything government related, the CIC, Passport Canada, the Canadian Consulate etc. We had thought initially that Panama would be our biggest hurdle in this surrogacy procedure and we had never thought that our own Country would be the barrier that is preventing us to return home.

Deflated and tired, I think that sums it up for how we are feeling at the moment. We aren’t letting our emotions show around Layton, this situation is not his fault and nor would we change any of it. Our Layton has already grabbed a hold of our hearts in a way we can’t comprehend and even though we are struggling every single day we are down here we would go through it all again to have him in our lives. We desperately hope next week brings us better news; we just cant bare to have any more delays or bad news come our way….

We have to be close don't we?

The days are all blending together down in Panama, we have completely forgotten what day it is and how long we have actually been waiting for our return home. Our DNA test should hopefully be completed either end of day today or tomorrow, making it again another weekend where nothing will be accomplished.

The DNA has been at the lab in Toronto since Tuesday morning and they promised it would be a 24 hour turn around, well this isn’t the case in legal DNA testing (which we found out yesterday) the minimum it will take is three days. We are beginning to seriously wonder why people just don’t tell you the worst-case scenario instead of false promises, which just brings our hopes up.

Today will be three days and hopefully the lab will send off the results to both us, and the Canadian consulate. We have been in constant contact with the consulate and it still seems this last DNA piece is the missing key that our return home to Canada is relying on. Once this test is sent off the consulate should be able to jump into action and hopefully within a day or two we will have a passport…. bearing in mind that again something out of the blue doesn’t come up and come crashing down on us again. (Can you sense our frustrations?)

I wonder what this experience has taught us about being parents, could it be to be patient and not let things bother us too much? Or could it be that it really helped us hit home how much family and friends back home mean to us and how we want nothing more to share our Layton with them. We will look back at this time hopefully and not have fear, and a bad taste in our mouths, but time will only tell. Our Layton is still perfect; he lights up our days and makes us smile. He doesn’t know what is going on with the stress, and thankfully I hope he never does. All he needs to know is that his parents loved him so much we moved heaven and earth to bring him back to Calgary to live…. at least this is what it feels like to us.

The Saga Continues...

Another few days have passed and it seems we aren’t much farther along with a return date home. After we spoke with the DNA testing company in Toronto they had promised to get the DNA test out over night by Fed-Ex. Three days later, the package finally arrived at the consulate. We tracked the package every five minutes in anxiousness and the round about way the package got to us amazed both Daniel and myself. Our DNA test went from Toronto, to Memphis, Miami, Venezuela, Columbia and then finally to Panama City. We watched the Fed Ex tracking website with amazement and thought someone was playing a horrible joke on us.

We tracked the package until it finally arrived at the consulate and without batting an eye we packed up Layton and grabbed a taxi to the consulate. Anxious to have the test performed and sent back to Canada this to us was the only item that was holding us back from coming home. We thought the test should be pretty simple and straight forward, as a consulate you would have thought they would have performed these dozens of times throughout the history of the consulate, but then again things were just not going our way down here.

After waiting for about 30 minutes until one of the consulate representatives could see us and then another 20 minutes or so for them to actually find the test, they came out and said that we needed someone in a lab to take the swabs as samples. We weren’t going to wait a minute longer to have these tests complete so we called Sindy at the hospital and she said to come right over to have these tests done from someone in the DNA lab. Daniel, Layton, the Consulate representative and I ran across the street and met with the lab. This was another frustrating task since no one had a clue what was to be done with the test and stacks of paper work that accompanied the testing material. Frustrations were getting high from all parties and finally after about an hour we were able to have the tests packaged up and ready to be sent off by Fed Ex.

Time has not been our side in this entire process, we did the test on Friday and thankfully was able to get Fed Ex to pick up last call on Friday and since it is a long weekend back in Canada we are still unsure of what the time frame is to have things completed and what will happen next.

What we have painfully had to learn is that it isn’t easy to get people to help you down here, the consulate only talks to Canada through email and its hard to get them to pick up the phone and speak to individuals in person. There is a huge disconnect between our Canadian government and the separate arms of our own government working in different Countries and no one seems to all be on the same page on important issues and processes. We know we have done all we can do right now, and again we are in the hands of a government that has no urgency to help us out. Hopefully they will get the DNA tests early this next week and can release authorization for the consulate to grant a passport for Layton but each week we think we have a timeline in place, but every week our timeline gets pushed back…some good luck has to come our way soon.

Return date Unknown....

It’s been ten day’s since we have had Layton home with us in Panama; he has turned into one of the best babies we could have ever imagined. We like to believe that we have been expert partners in parenting, but to be honest I think he has just figured Daniel and I out and has taught us how he likes to be taken care of and we finally caught on.  Layton is incredibly smart, and he loves to be cuddled and held tight and is very calm. We even think we are starting to see what his personality is going to be like. Every day we know how lucky we are he is in our lives now, and every day we are falling more and more in love with him and honestly can’t remember life without him.

Our meeting with the consulate however had a whole different story to it. It was not smooth, it was not all giggles and happy times, and actually was quite the opposite. We learned quickly that the entire process of getting Layton home quickly we had no clue about. What was discussed originally by the hospital and what actually we needed to do was completely different and threw us into a state of shock and panic.  The Consular had us fill in Canadian passport application forms, residency forms for Layton etc. This was followed by having to run down to another photography place to get more pictures of Layton for both the passport and the residency card application. The one’s we had were of no good and were told they weren’t to standard.

Once all forms were filled out and submitted we explained our urgency to get these processed as soon as possible since our return date was going to be on Tuesday August 28.  We waited and waited with what seemed and eternity just to be told yesterday that the Canadian passport agency declined our DNA test that was supplied by the hospital. It was not a preferred lab that the passport agency uses and thus null and void. Our hearts sank. Although everyone at the consulate is very sympathetic it just shocks us that our own government agencies do not speak to each other and process’s are not clear on what the other one is doing. The consulate told us they are trying to get more details on what we were to do next and for right now there is nothing more they can do. With that, and a few more breakdowns we had to cancel flights, hotel accommodations, and more flights not to miss any of the reservations we had already in place.

The next day (today) I was at the consulate again at open and was told they were having a conference call with Passport Canada later this morning as to what exactly they need from us. Again, told to go home and they would call us. A few hours later I spoke back with the consulate and they said they would need us to contact a DNA testing facility back in Canada and set this up ourselves to get a test sent don to Panama so we can perform this test again to the Canadian standards by an approved lab. We took their advice (what else can we do) and have arranged a company in Toronto to over night this test to the consulate today so hopefully we can get this second ball rolling as soon as possible.  This is where we sit right now, waiting again, with no control over situations. All too familiar with how this past year has gone, and the feeling of helplessness continues.

We can’t explain to people what it feels like to not be allowed to leave a Country with your baby, it feels like your being smothered without air and no one can help. I know policies are put in place for reasons and to protect fellow Canadians, but if you take a good look at Layton and into his eyes you will clearly see he is ours to every fiber of his being and truly a proud Canadian baby.

We knew this journey from the beginning was going to be stressful, and at times feel hopeless. We thought we were accustomed to this but with every clear glimmer of the finish line a few more hurdles get added to the course. Layton is keeping us strong and helping us keep it together, we know we will get everything done the officials keep asking us for, but we just are aching to bring him home to grandparents, family and friends, and get him to his home where he will be growing up and hopefully spending the happiest times of his, and our lives.

Everyone Warns you.....

We have been home from the hospital since Sunday, so glad to finally have Layton home with us at least at our condo and not visiting him in a hospital through 1 inch glass, twice per day.

No one really told us anything on leaving the hospital, the nurse did her best to try and explain a few things to us about cleaning the umbilical cord and such but not as much as we had expected. Nonetheless, just excited for the walk home.

Our first day/night was learning about our little guy, how to feed, what to do when changing him etc Most of the day consisted of skyping our families, showing off our perfect little man, and taking turns holding him and not letting go. The first night we were able to get the feeding down pat, and we are lucky that he is good at eating and no real issues there yet. Although there were no concerns our fist night it was still hard to fall asleep not knowing if we would miss anything.

Monday we had running around to do, and having to go to Copa airlines and change our tickets, and add Layton to our tickets home. I cant say enough about the airline, they were nothing but accommodating to us and helped us get this done in no time flat, after this, and the staff of Copa airlines taking pictures of Layton, we were off to get him his first set of passport pictures at a local pharmacy. Thank goodness that Alana had her assistant Hidemi come with us who could translate what we needed because without her we had no clue.

We are always surprised how little English is spoken here, although there are quite a number of English speaking people in Panama, we are amazed how little you can get done without knowing Spanish, and for us a frustration because our only grasp of the Spanish language is to ask for a beer or where the bathroom’s are.

Last night Layton was a little more “vocal” and between Daniel and I trying to figure it all out needless to say there was almost no sleep last night. At least I was able to doze off for a few hours but for the last two nights Daniel has gone without any sleep at all.

We realized quickly last night how alone we could feel being down here without our family and friends, just to ask questions about the baby, what we were doing right, or wrong. It is a bit overwhelming to say the least. With every minute that goes by today I realize how much work that it is to have a baby, and how much everything you think you know just goes completely out the window and you end up being a blubbering mess half the time.

After only 1 breakdown from me this morning, we were able to walk Layton down to the hospital where he had his check up with the pediatrician. Dr Abbott (fluently speaking English) told us he was doing great. All within the normal ranges for a baby, this was a relief from the two of us. Even though we knew he was perfect to us second guessing everything has been part of our life over the last week down here and at least we were able to breath a little bit better after this visit. The Doctor gave us a prescription for some vitamin drops that babies take down here and suggested we change our formula to a more “gentler” one for his stomach.

Tomorrow we have an appointment with the Canadian consulate and hopefully they let us know exactly when we are able to take little Layton home back to Canada to see his family. We hope to come back on the 28^th of August, but knowing how things work down here we are just keeping our fingers crossed and hoping for the best….

Meeting Layton....

It is Saturday morning and a tense feeling in my stomach has woken me up early today, the last couple of days have been emotional to say the least. Thursday evening was our scheduled c-section and the birth of our Son Layton. We arrived at the hospital at about 7:30 pm and quickly ran into our doctor who would be performing the operation. He escorted us into the main waiting area and told us to wait until he came for me to get prepped for the operation.  We knew from early on that only one of us would be allowed to be in the delivery room, and the other in the nursery so we decided it would be me in delivery and Daniel allowed in the nursery until release.

We ended up waiting what seemed an eternity for the doctor to come and get me to take me into the operation room, what we quickly learned in this process is that always add an hour onto whatever time doctors tell you things would be happening….

The delivery room was a flurry of activity, there were about 5 staff in the room, and this was the first time I actually met and saw the surrogate. It felt a bit awkward once I first went in but shortly after an unspoken nod of approval from our surrogate I knew this was where I was meant to be.

The delivery only took about 15 minutes and I was amazed and shocked how fast everything went, Layton was born at exactly 9:09pm August 16, 2012. He was 7.15 pounds and 50cm long. Perfect in every way. A quick burst of cries once he was removed from the womb and then he settled down and grabbed my finger right away like he knew I was there…. a moment I wont ever forget.

The doctor allowed me to run down to the waiting room where Daniel was being kept company and supported by our friend Alana and her boyfriend, and I told him to come to the 6^th floor quickly so he could meet Layton. The doctor quickly brought Layton and me into the nursery and Daniel was able to watch through a glass window. We shed our tears, laughed, and took as many pictures as we had time for…and quickly it was time for them to tend to Layton and they asked us to leave and come back tomorrow.

Layton is everything we had hoped he would be, healthy, calm, beautiful and most importantly OURS!

We know there are several more steps to go through before our travels back home to Canada, but at least for now our Layton has arrived…. and hopefully will be released from the hospital to come home to be with his dad’s!

4.5 hours to go....

It’s a short 4.5 hours until the C-section and birth of our new boy Layton. The last 72 hours have been nothing less than a whirlwind of emotions.

We arrived in Panama on Monday and it has been non stop ever since. We are lucky enough to have a good friend in Panama who has given us her place to use as our home base, and we couldn’t have asked for anything more comforting and convenient, we can actually see the hospital where Layton will be born from the windows in the condo.

We have had two appointments with Sindy at the hospital for various reasons, and paperwork and for blood sampling since we have requested a DNA test to be completed before we leave, this just in case the Canadian consulate was to request this information, better be safe than sorry….

There have been a few more twists and unexpected information once we arrived down here, and we if nothing have already become experts at trying to just go with the flow, but sometimes its not easy to not want to break down and scream. We were given the task to decide from the two of us which of us will be allowed to be in the delivery room for the birth, and after that the other one would be only allowed in the nursery until Layton is allowed to leave the hospital. We thought we had this figured out ahead of time, but we weren’t aware that there is no common room at all where the two of us could hold him, so one person would not actually hold Layton until he was released…. how do you not hold your own child for up to three days? We were able to come to an agreement, and I think it makes the most sense for both of us…and now excited to finally go through what seemed forever in the making….the birth of Layton.

8pm can’t come fast enough, today was a day that we just tried to keep calm, keep busy, or just relax. The thought of anything more was just too much for us to think about, and even though so many people wanted to give us support today we just felt best if we had a quiet day to ourselves.

Alana has been nothing but a huge support for us down here and we honestly don’t know what we would have done without her. She is going to be coming with us to the hospital tonight to give one of us support while the other is in the delivery room…I know this will help keep us calm and we will feel better knowing the other one is at least supported with family, and we do call Alana a part of our family now. She will be the first person that will be able to see our new son, and hold our new baby…Alana did get tears in her eyes when we asked her to be with us…she called it an honor, to be honest it is our honor to have her there…

4 hours and 15 minutes until the delivery…

360......

It’s Saturday evening, only hours left before we leave for the next and final step in our journey. The thought of this being the last time in our house without a new baby is overwhelming. Daniel and I have both had waves of nausea from nerves and anxiousness and to try and explain the feelings we are having I wouldn’t know where to start…

360 days ago our journey started, and it will be one year since we first made out trek down to Panama for the first time and now here we sit, almost full circle. Layton will be born this coming Thursday August 16^th, and still we need to pinch ourselves to realize this isn’t a dream anymore…. our story will finally have a happy ending.

The support we have been given throughout this year has been nothing short than amazing, our families, friends, and even strangers all jumped on our band wagon and everyone seemed to get just as caught up in our adventure as we did. We are truly thankful and understand how lucky we are.

Our suitcases are packed, one for us, and one for baby Layton. Layton’s suitcase stuffed to the brim with everything we could think of that a baby might need. Clothes, diapers, creams and lotions, funny how much space it takes once you start packing all these things.

Tomorrow we fly to Toronto and will spend the night there, where on Monday we will catch a flight to Panama on Copa airlines which will get us into Panama City at around 2:15 pm. Our friend Alana has graciously offered to pick us up at the airport and take us to her place, where we will be staying until we are able to return back to Canada hopefully a few weeks after Layton’s birth.

The story of our adventure (pre-Layton) is almost complete, now we are excited to write a new chapter in this blog, one that includes a cheerful, happy and well wanted, little boy….

Delivery Date Set!

Well we had one of our last ultra sounds this week and baby Layton is doing just fine, and now weighing in at 4.1 pounds! The doctors are saying that everything is completely normal and have given us the date of the C-Section to be the 20^th of August.

The doctors will do another ultra sound in two weeks’ time, on July 25^th just to make sure nothing has changed and they will be able to see if the weight gain remains the same and will adjust the delivery date if need be.

We are finally at the time where all the final planning can be started; airline and travel arrangements can all be booked and completed. We are going to fly down almost a week before the delivery just to make sure we can get settled and situated with the area that we will be staying, and with deliveries you never know if the date will be bumped up or not, so better safe than sorry.

The amazing thing about the delivery date is that our first appointment with the hospital, which seems such a long time ago, was booked for August 16^th last year^, almost the exact date of when Layton will be born. Who knew at that time one year ago that we would actually be repeating our travel’s down to Panama to pick up our little guy….a lot can happen in just one year!

Thirty-One

It’s now past our thirty one week period and the last stage of pregnancy is on its way. The once nervousness about the pregnancy has turned into anxiousness on preparing for our trip to Panama to be there for the delivery.

Last week we received a CD by Fed-Ex with our 3d ultra sound pictures, this was our first glance of what little Layton will look like. The previous ultra sound pictures were hard to make out and didn’t really look like anything to the untrained eye, but these new ones we received you could clearly see how far our baby has developed and what he is going to be looking like.

We are amazed now looking back on this past year how fast time has gone by, it was just about a year ago when we were booking our first flights for our first trip down to Panama to start this adventure and now one year later we are about to book our flights to Panama again to pick up our baby. What changes a year can make!

We have our last ultra sound on July 10^th, and at this time we will find out the date of our C-section and when we have to be down in Panama. We could have to be down there at the beginning of August depending on how far along the surrogate is, and anywhere between the 37^th to 39^th week of the pregnancy they could schedule it for. We believe it will be more towards the 37^th week so in a very short time frame we will be heading down south! As little as 6-7 weeks away!

Twenty Seven.....

It’s now the 27^th week that we are pregnant, so hard to imagine that almost a year ago we were starting to plan our first trip to Panama, where we didn’t know what to expect, or what journey this was going to be and when and if we were going to have a baby. This year has gone by within a blink of an eye and we still have a hard time imagining that our baby will be born in just two short months.

We are officially in the third and last trimester, and pleased to announce that everything is still going perfectly relating to the pregnancy. Both surrogate and baby are healthy and doing as well as we could ever have hoped. 

This has been quite a year, both Daniel and I have aged about 10 years a piece and if we didn’t have a full head of grey hair, well we do now! (At least I do).  The stress of this process, the unknown, the distance and language barriers, just to name a few have only strengthened our determination to get through this process and to start living a normal life again back home with a family. We soon will start the process of booking travel for our trip down, our thoughts are to book our flights just before the 37^th week of pregnancy, and then if we need to change our flights at least they will be booked. The delivery could be anytime between the 37-39^th week of pregnancy and the hospital will not know our expected delivery date until our July ultra sound. For us it will be better to be down in Panama earlier to get any extra supplies or diapers we might need instead of rushing around after the fact once Layton is born.  Also this will give us an opportunity to re-connect with our friend Alana who has graciously allowed us to stay with her in Panama while we are there picking up the baby. Two months isn’t a long time left in our journey, I know there will be more stressful moments to come, but the relief that we feel right now to be coming to the end is almost unbearable!

25 Weeks....

I’m sitting at the airport in Calgary waiting to catch a flight, of course way too early and thought this would be a good time to write a blog update. It’s been about two weeks since the last update and we have hit some milestones, personally and with the baby.

Our baby shower was thrown a couple weeks ago and about 60 people gathered for the occasion ready to celebrate, eat, and of course talk all things baby. It was the most amazing day with family and friends and both Daniel and I realized how grateful we both are for the love our friends and family have for us and that our dear friends Leah and Bryce for throwing such an amazing party. The baby shower went throughout the day, and then turned into a party that moved over to our house and went until the early hours of the morning the next day. Good times had by all, and we are still organizing boxes, baby clothes, toys and baby “stuff” that now seem to be throughout our house.

Another big accomplishment that we pretty much completed is the baby nursery. Final touches are being made and now what seemed to be a disorganized mess in one of our spare rooms has now turned out to be one of the most beautiful baby nursery’s I have ever seen. Daniel’s painting is amazing and the time we spent on this one room alone is unbelievable, but well worth it. We find ourselves now just sitting in the room, thinking of our baby. Wondering what he is going to be like, how he will like the room, and can now picture him running around his room pulling all the stuffed toys out of the bins and making a mess, a mess we wont mind at all. 5 months ago we were in Panama, going through a procedure to hopefully get pregnant, and now we are sitting in our babies room preparing for his arrival. Such a big change in a small amount of time, and we believe with perseverance all things are possible…

Yesterday we received ultra sound reports from Panama, everything is perfect. We are 25 weeks pregnant and out little guy is about 798 grams, which is well within all normal ranges for a baby his age. We also saw some picture of our surrogate’s baby bump, which is now a full on pregnancy stomach and not such a “bump” anymore. Everything is great, healthy baby and healthy surrogate; this is all we can ask for. The ultra sound pictures still don’t look like anything recognizable when you look at them, but with imagination we both see our little baby boy and all his characteristics we picture his hair, eyes, and can actually start imagining what his personality will be.  We are on the last stages of pregnancy soon, and will moving towards the third and final trimester, where does the time go?

One final thing I wanted to share with everyone is that we have named our little guy, the process with picking a name for him was quite easy for us, once we found out we were having a boy it was almost an instant decision between Daniel and I what we would name him, a name that means something personally to us and our family and with pride I can now tell everyone our baby’s name is Layton…




Follow me on twitter!!! @BradandDaniel

22 Weeks.....

We are at the 22 week mark with our pregnancy, I can’t believe that time is flying by as fast as it is. We thought the weeks would drag along at a snail’s pace, but it is the total opposite for us, as the days are going by so fast we can’t seem to figure out where these last few months have gone….

Although the time is going by fast we are getting stuff done in preparation for our little one’s arrival. Daniel has finished painting the nursery (re-painting), and the crib we ordered was delivered last night. It will be exciting to finally start setting up the nursery and this is part of the process we have been looking forward to for some time and it feels everything is coming together finally.

Our friends have been gracious enough to throw us a baby shower next weekend, we are excited for the opportunity to see all of our friends and families and actually have a day set aside to celebrate the journey we have been on so far.  This has touched not Daniel and I but everyone close to us have had a part to play in the emotional roller-coaster of this surrogacy so far and getting together and celebrating is exactly what we all need right now!

What a difference a day makes.......

It’s been a few weeks since my last update and because things have been going along quite smoothly we really haven’t had any updates to share.  We have been getting the baby room in order and with over 70 hours worth of painting we are almost done! Or so we thought…

This week was our planned 20-week ultra sound, and these days are always mixed with excitement and anticipation. We know we are at the mercy of a hospital many thousands of miles away and the waiting is usually unbearable for us on these days.

We waited on Monday and to our disappointment they were not able to do the ultra sound since the doctor was called into an emergency and didn’t get out of the operating room until quite late. This was all right since we understand that there are emergencies that come up and they promised they would have our ultra sound completed first thing the next morning. The next morning came and went, and towards the end of the day we finally received word from the hospital. The email stated that all is well, and the baby was healthy along with the surrogate and perfectly normal for the 20-week mark. This was great news but the one final piece of information they shared with us is that they have confirmed through the ultra sound that we are now having a healthy baby BOY! The last ultra sounds was so early they had problems making out the baby parts and thought is looked like a girl…

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Yes we are both happy and thrilled that we are finally pregnant and so grateful everyday that this is happening to us, but the last ultrasound we were told we were having a girl and this is what we started planning for and it has thrown us for a bit of a loop.

Our lovely girls room that was so meticulously painted and planned out now has to be changed and updated for a little prince not the little princess we had originally thought. I know we will laugh at this one-day and although we have heard story after story about ultra sounds being wrong and don’t make too many plans until later in the pregnancy we couldn’t help ourselves.

The only thing we have during this pregnancy is out monthly email updates and our thoughts, feeling, and dreams, we have started imagining memories of our child and what they will be like and this is the hard thing to try and forget about or alter. We know in a couple days we will get excited again and start planning and dreaming of our little boy and the shock in our system will become a distance memory of a little bump in the road.

Mistakes happen, nothing is guaranteed, and until we have that little bundle in our arms we wont feel safe and relieved. This process, although is going relatively smoothly, has been nothing but stressful on the both of us. I don’t think anyone would really understand unless they have gone through it and I know it will make our family stronger and more appreciative everyday for the process we went through to have children.

We are over 20 weeks pregnant! That is the idea we are focusing on, half way mark and we are now on the last half of the pregnancy. We know it is not going to get any easier, more than likely it will get even more stressful with each week we are closer to the birth, but nothing comes easy in life and if you really want something the way we want this baby we will be able to handle anything that is thrown our way!!!!!!