Return date Unknown....

It’s been ten day’s since we have had Layton home with us in Panama; he has turned into one of the best babies we could have ever imagined. We like to believe that we have been expert partners in parenting, but to be honest I think he has just figured Daniel and I out and has taught us how he likes to be taken care of and we finally caught on.  Layton is incredibly smart, and he loves to be cuddled and held tight and is very calm. We even think we are starting to see what his personality is going to be like. Every day we know how lucky we are he is in our lives now, and every day we are falling more and more in love with him and honestly can’t remember life without him.

Our meeting with the consulate however had a whole different story to it. It was not smooth, it was not all giggles and happy times, and actually was quite the opposite. We learned quickly that the entire process of getting Layton home quickly we had no clue about. What was discussed originally by the hospital and what actually we needed to do was completely different and threw us into a state of shock and panic.  The Consular had us fill in Canadian passport application forms, residency forms for Layton etc. This was followed by having to run down to another photography place to get more pictures of Layton for both the passport and the residency card application. The one’s we had were of no good and were told they weren’t to standard.

Once all forms were filled out and submitted we explained our urgency to get these processed as soon as possible since our return date was going to be on Tuesday August 28.  We waited and waited with what seemed and eternity just to be told yesterday that the Canadian passport agency declined our DNA test that was supplied by the hospital. It was not a preferred lab that the passport agency uses and thus null and void. Our hearts sank. Although everyone at the consulate is very sympathetic it just shocks us that our own government agencies do not speak to each other and process’s are not clear on what the other one is doing. The consulate told us they are trying to get more details on what we were to do next and for right now there is nothing more they can do. With that, and a few more breakdowns we had to cancel flights, hotel accommodations, and more flights not to miss any of the reservations we had already in place.

The next day (today) I was at the consulate again at open and was told they were having a conference call with Passport Canada later this morning as to what exactly they need from us. Again, told to go home and they would call us. A few hours later I spoke back with the consulate and they said they would need us to contact a DNA testing facility back in Canada and set this up ourselves to get a test sent don to Panama so we can perform this test again to the Canadian standards by an approved lab. We took their advice (what else can we do) and have arranged a company in Toronto to over night this test to the consulate today so hopefully we can get this second ball rolling as soon as possible.  This is where we sit right now, waiting again, with no control over situations. All too familiar with how this past year has gone, and the feeling of helplessness continues.

We can’t explain to people what it feels like to not be allowed to leave a Country with your baby, it feels like your being smothered without air and no one can help. I know policies are put in place for reasons and to protect fellow Canadians, but if you take a good look at Layton and into his eyes you will clearly see he is ours to every fiber of his being and truly a proud Canadian baby.

We knew this journey from the beginning was going to be stressful, and at times feel hopeless. We thought we were accustomed to this but with every clear glimmer of the finish line a few more hurdles get added to the course. Layton is keeping us strong and helping us keep it together, we know we will get everything done the officials keep asking us for, but we just are aching to bring him home to grandparents, family and friends, and get him to his home where he will be growing up and hopefully spending the happiest times of his, and our lives.

Everyone Warns you.....

We have been home from the hospital since Sunday, so glad to finally have Layton home with us at least at our condo and not visiting him in a hospital through 1 inch glass, twice per day.

No one really told us anything on leaving the hospital, the nurse did her best to try and explain a few things to us about cleaning the umbilical cord and such but not as much as we had expected. Nonetheless, just excited for the walk home.

Our first day/night was learning about our little guy, how to feed, what to do when changing him etc Most of the day consisted of skyping our families, showing off our perfect little man, and taking turns holding him and not letting go. The first night we were able to get the feeding down pat, and we are lucky that he is good at eating and no real issues there yet. Although there were no concerns our fist night it was still hard to fall asleep not knowing if we would miss anything.

Monday we had running around to do, and having to go to Copa airlines and change our tickets, and add Layton to our tickets home. I cant say enough about the airline, they were nothing but accommodating to us and helped us get this done in no time flat, after this, and the staff of Copa airlines taking pictures of Layton, we were off to get him his first set of passport pictures at a local pharmacy. Thank goodness that Alana had her assistant Hidemi come with us who could translate what we needed because without her we had no clue.

We are always surprised how little English is spoken here, although there are quite a number of English speaking people in Panama, we are amazed how little you can get done without knowing Spanish, and for us a frustration because our only grasp of the Spanish language is to ask for a beer or where the bathroom’s are.

Last night Layton was a little more “vocal” and between Daniel and I trying to figure it all out needless to say there was almost no sleep last night. At least I was able to doze off for a few hours but for the last two nights Daniel has gone without any sleep at all.

We realized quickly last night how alone we could feel being down here without our family and friends, just to ask questions about the baby, what we were doing right, or wrong. It is a bit overwhelming to say the least. With every minute that goes by today I realize how much work that it is to have a baby, and how much everything you think you know just goes completely out the window and you end up being a blubbering mess half the time.

After only 1 breakdown from me this morning, we were able to walk Layton down to the hospital where he had his check up with the pediatrician. Dr Abbott (fluently speaking English) told us he was doing great. All within the normal ranges for a baby, this was a relief from the two of us. Even though we knew he was perfect to us second guessing everything has been part of our life over the last week down here and at least we were able to breath a little bit better after this visit. The Doctor gave us a prescription for some vitamin drops that babies take down here and suggested we change our formula to a more “gentler” one for his stomach.

Tomorrow we have an appointment with the Canadian consulate and hopefully they let us know exactly when we are able to take little Layton home back to Canada to see his family. We hope to come back on the 28^th of August, but knowing how things work down here we are just keeping our fingers crossed and hoping for the best….

Meeting Layton....

It is Saturday morning and a tense feeling in my stomach has woken me up early today, the last couple of days have been emotional to say the least. Thursday evening was our scheduled c-section and the birth of our Son Layton. We arrived at the hospital at about 7:30 pm and quickly ran into our doctor who would be performing the operation. He escorted us into the main waiting area and told us to wait until he came for me to get prepped for the operation.  We knew from early on that only one of us would be allowed to be in the delivery room, and the other in the nursery so we decided it would be me in delivery and Daniel allowed in the nursery until release.

We ended up waiting what seemed an eternity for the doctor to come and get me to take me into the operation room, what we quickly learned in this process is that always add an hour onto whatever time doctors tell you things would be happening….

The delivery room was a flurry of activity, there were about 5 staff in the room, and this was the first time I actually met and saw the surrogate. It felt a bit awkward once I first went in but shortly after an unspoken nod of approval from our surrogate I knew this was where I was meant to be.

The delivery only took about 15 minutes and I was amazed and shocked how fast everything went, Layton was born at exactly 9:09pm August 16, 2012. He was 7.15 pounds and 50cm long. Perfect in every way. A quick burst of cries once he was removed from the womb and then he settled down and grabbed my finger right away like he knew I was there…. a moment I wont ever forget.

The doctor allowed me to run down to the waiting room where Daniel was being kept company and supported by our friend Alana and her boyfriend, and I told him to come to the 6^th floor quickly so he could meet Layton. The doctor quickly brought Layton and me into the nursery and Daniel was able to watch through a glass window. We shed our tears, laughed, and took as many pictures as we had time for…and quickly it was time for them to tend to Layton and they asked us to leave and come back tomorrow.

Layton is everything we had hoped he would be, healthy, calm, beautiful and most importantly OURS!

We know there are several more steps to go through before our travels back home to Canada, but at least for now our Layton has arrived…. and hopefully will be released from the hospital to come home to be with his dad’s!

4.5 hours to go....

It’s a short 4.5 hours until the C-section and birth of our new boy Layton. The last 72 hours have been nothing less than a whirlwind of emotions.

We arrived in Panama on Monday and it has been non stop ever since. We are lucky enough to have a good friend in Panama who has given us her place to use as our home base, and we couldn’t have asked for anything more comforting and convenient, we can actually see the hospital where Layton will be born from the windows in the condo.

We have had two appointments with Sindy at the hospital for various reasons, and paperwork and for blood sampling since we have requested a DNA test to be completed before we leave, this just in case the Canadian consulate was to request this information, better be safe than sorry….

There have been a few more twists and unexpected information once we arrived down here, and we if nothing have already become experts at trying to just go with the flow, but sometimes its not easy to not want to break down and scream. We were given the task to decide from the two of us which of us will be allowed to be in the delivery room for the birth, and after that the other one would be only allowed in the nursery until Layton is allowed to leave the hospital. We thought we had this figured out ahead of time, but we weren’t aware that there is no common room at all where the two of us could hold him, so one person would not actually hold Layton until he was released…. how do you not hold your own child for up to three days? We were able to come to an agreement, and I think it makes the most sense for both of us…and now excited to finally go through what seemed forever in the making….the birth of Layton.

8pm can’t come fast enough, today was a day that we just tried to keep calm, keep busy, or just relax. The thought of anything more was just too much for us to think about, and even though so many people wanted to give us support today we just felt best if we had a quiet day to ourselves.

Alana has been nothing but a huge support for us down here and we honestly don’t know what we would have done without her. She is going to be coming with us to the hospital tonight to give one of us support while the other is in the delivery room…I know this will help keep us calm and we will feel better knowing the other one is at least supported with family, and we do call Alana a part of our family now. She will be the first person that will be able to see our new son, and hold our new baby…Alana did get tears in her eyes when we asked her to be with us…she called it an honor, to be honest it is our honor to have her there…

4 hours and 15 minutes until the delivery…

360......

It’s Saturday evening, only hours left before we leave for the next and final step in our journey. The thought of this being the last time in our house without a new baby is overwhelming. Daniel and I have both had waves of nausea from nerves and anxiousness and to try and explain the feelings we are having I wouldn’t know where to start…

360 days ago our journey started, and it will be one year since we first made out trek down to Panama for the first time and now here we sit, almost full circle. Layton will be born this coming Thursday August 16^th, and still we need to pinch ourselves to realize this isn’t a dream anymore…. our story will finally have a happy ending.

The support we have been given throughout this year has been nothing short than amazing, our families, friends, and even strangers all jumped on our band wagon and everyone seemed to get just as caught up in our adventure as we did. We are truly thankful and understand how lucky we are.

Our suitcases are packed, one for us, and one for baby Layton. Layton’s suitcase stuffed to the brim with everything we could think of that a baby might need. Clothes, diapers, creams and lotions, funny how much space it takes once you start packing all these things.

Tomorrow we fly to Toronto and will spend the night there, where on Monday we will catch a flight to Panama on Copa airlines which will get us into Panama City at around 2:15 pm. Our friend Alana has graciously offered to pick us up at the airport and take us to her place, where we will be staying until we are able to return back to Canada hopefully a few weeks after Layton’s birth.

The story of our adventure (pre-Layton) is almost complete, now we are excited to write a new chapter in this blog, one that includes a cheerful, happy and well wanted, little boy….